I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this month will be defined as my most important of the year, and possibly my life. A little bit over dramatic? Definitely. But things are looking up within various areas of my life and so I believe I’ve got good reason to be cheerful. Maybe a little too cheerful…
A big difference this month is the fact that I am no longer suffering from FOMO, or what we adults know as the ‘fear of missing out’. I am a pretty sociable creature at heart so any chance to watch wrestling or head on out and play a boardgame would have been too much for my tiny lack of willpower to handle. Not any more. I feel like my mind has been totally clouded over the last 10 months while I figured out how to juggle everything in my life; balancing the social and the career, the pleasure and the painful, the fun and the not so fun.
But things that were once enjoyable no longer hold a certain power over me. I don’t want to be sitting indoors smoking a joint and watching men get put through tables. I don’t want to be sat around whilst people bicker and argue over no one wanting to trade a sheep. To say it bluntly, I don’t want to waste my time any more.
There will of course always be a time and a place to watch grown men in spandex or trade some wood for ore, but it’s going to have to be more scheduled, less sporadic. And certainly not daily.
The second difference is that I feel a lot happier knowing that I am heading in the right direction and thinking about my future. I’ve never been one to think too far ahead, but that was mainly due to my plans being unbearably simple, ‘make X amount of money and then head to Y destination for Z amount of time’. Things are different now. I’m 28 and not getting any younger. And whilst I still long to get out of Norwich and head onto yet another glorious adventure, I need to think of what I want from my career. I’ve always had the self confidence to know that I want to do something bigger and better than working in cafes or bars or any other hospitality job for that matter. I just never really knew which way to direct myself.
And this brings me onto my third improvement. I have an absolute ton of ideas and a thirst for knowledge that I haven’t felt in a long time. I want to learn website design, business strategy, social media analytics and even basic coding, as well as actually becoming a good poker player. I also want to read, write and let loose my creative side.
Poker Vagabond is my canvas, I just need to learn how to paint.
The whole point of doing this isn’t clouded in financial fantasy and I know deep down that it will take something miraculous for it to produce any form of sustainable income. But what I am loving is the idea that I am totally clueless in a whole host of interesting and exciting areas. The only real way of seeing if Poker Vagabond can become anything more than what it is right now is to get stuck in and see what the hell happens. And if nothing happens, then I’ll at least have a few more skills tucked away under my belt.
And finally, everything else. Food Cycle. The Gym. Hockey. Football. Decision Making. Even my poker results this month came with a nice +$ sign (just). I am trying to create a life around me that I am proud of but with that comes sacrifices. So…
No more late nights.
No more daily board games.
No more weed smoking.
No more weekend drinking sessions.
No more idle laziness.
No more excuses