Another month, another promotion, sort of. I am beginning to really dig deep into my poker again now. I am not over pushing it, I am not setting myself intense goals or getting frustrated when I don’t do a certain thing, I am simply sitting down and playing the game. I know there is a whole lot of poker related theory I need to improve at, and I know that June will be a month where I begin to do a lot more off table study, but I seem to have found my passion again for poker. It’s not that it ever really left me, it just seemed to feel a bit like work and I wasn’t enjoying it that much. This month seems a bit different and I believe that it boils down to the fact that I am not putting too much pressure on myself to achieve goals, play a certain amount of hands or do anything crazily specific, I just need to play the game and learn as I go. I know that I don’t WANT to play 8 hours a day, I know that I don’t want to watch hundreds of hours of study videos and I know that I can achieve the goals I set out for myself if I just let my body and mind dictate how I go about reaching those goals.
I now look forward to sitting down for a few hour sessions, knowing that my entire day doesn’t need to be focused around playing the game. I know that I can easily put in 3-6 hour days and enjoy my time away from the tables. I might take longer reaching the goals I have set myself, but I certainly find myself a lot happier. This has also helped me deal with the anger that can flow through me as I play the game. Bad shit happens in poker and the anger used to affect me a fair bit while playing. Now I know the anger won’t ever fully go away, but I find it a lot easier to continue playing simply by understanding that it’s fine to be angry and upset, as long as I am still able to make the right decisions. This is an ongoing process and I will constantly have to work at my mental game, but the negative sessions have become easier to deal with and I can find myself powering through more often than not.
And this brings me to my little promotion, or should I say promotion in the making. I am currently going back and forth from playing $10nl ($10 on a table) and $25nl ($25 on a table). As you can imagine it can be quite a rollercoaster ride as suddenly my session winnings or losses can become so much more intense. Once I make it through the barrier and have my entire tables set for $25 then that will be a great way to make it to half way through the year. I am, of course, miles behind my intended goal but I really believe I am laying down concrete foundations so I can really go on and achieve what I want to from this game, at least in the short term future.
But how am I doing with all the other things I set myself at the beginning of the year? Below I have just written down the positives and negatives from the last 6 months.
- While I haven’t continued with a lot of the things I set out for the year (Yoga, stocks and sign language to name a few) I am still pursuing my dream of making it as a professional poker player.
- Becoming a Hub Leader at the charity I volunteer at has to be something I am proud of.
- My blog is still here although my writing and blog posts are no way near as frequent as they once were, it’s still ambling along which suits it’s purpose.
- I am relatively happy. The one thing I find is that people who work too hard don’t seem to be amazingly happy. Me on the other hand am trying my hardest to get the balance right. These are always moving targets but the fact that I am openly honest with myself helps me understand what needs to be done and also how much work I WANT to be doing.
- I am technically a licenced croupier and this will last for 5 years. Not really in my plans but it’s something to add to my cv.
- I discovered boardgames and the sheer joy they can bring me.
- Progress is unbearably slow, no matter how much I sugar coat it with statements like ‘I am building a solid foundation’, my results really need to start pushing me in the right direction
- Other activities have grinded to a halt and I need to take stock as to whether they have stopped because I don’t want to do them or that I’m simply too lazy to try.
- Is this really a long term career choice? It’s something I do have to ask myself and for now I am happy with playing for low limits and moving to India and organising my life around that….but what happens when the wife or kids come?
- Having no money kinda sucks. I’m not living a high life at the moment and having little money and owing friends money isn’t a great feeling to have so I might have to look at alternative sources of income, possible sooner rather than later.
End of Month Stats
Pokerstars Balance: $983
Time: 58 hours
Star Coins: 4,000 (equalling $40)