This month, again, was a tale of two sides. On one side I managed a tidy profit and I am very close to my first self promotion. On the other, a few personal issues and a dip in motivation made this month very hard to analyse.
Let’s begin with the good stuff. I managed a nice $120 profit from poker alone, alongside $45 profit in starcoins purchases. My winrate was a decent, if not overly exciting 4/bb100. My aim is to at least hit 5/bb100 in the very near future, but ultimately would like, and should strive for, nearer double digits. So what’s improved? The simple truth is that I am just better at making good decisions, I am thinking about the game a little bit better and I know where the fold button is, when before I would pay the opponent off even though I knew I had a very strong chance of being beaten. My sessions lengths have also increased, as well as my focus while at the tables.
I have a long way to go though. Even if I managed a profit doesn’t mean I am overly happy with the way my month as a whole turned out. I could, and should, improve in nearly all aspects of my play. More study, more hours and even more focus. The usual suspects. If I had one excuse it would be that during the month my Dad was sent to hospital, not once, but twice. With yours truly having to ring the paramedics on him twice in the space of a week.
That clearly wasn’t easy and I did what any loving child would do in the same circumstances. But it also destroyed my rhythm. Since the paramedics arrived, everything has kind of fallen away. I stopped meditating, practicing yoga, learning a language, reading; basically everything that was really helping me become a better all round person. That is not to say that my ‘new year’s resolutions’ have failed, In fact, I know from the self improvements that I have been making that this is just a blip in my graph of life and I have to strive to get everything realigned and back in focus. I believe everyone suffers these dips no matter what they are striving for, and the best way to combat them is to first accept that these hardships and ‘annoyances’ are always going to occur, and the second is making a plan on how to not let them destabilise you completely.
And that’s what the beginning of April is all about for me. Getting myself realigned but also understanding that I possibly tried to take on too many activities and hobbies, all at the same time. I need to cut back on a couple, makes definitive plans with the others and maybe stop some altogether. I also need to figure out exactly how much poker I want to play. I chose playing poker because it gave me flexible working hours and I had a real passion for it. I have to try and find the right balance of pleasure and work, while taking into consideration my actual goals. While trying to earn minimum wage, to someone, could be deemed as setting low expectations, for me that’s all I need to get by for now. With my growing plans to head to India and live in Goa for 6 months, I can really create for myself a nice balance of pleasure and work and not put too much pressure on myself. I could easily survive in India if I earned $5 an hour so that is something else to take into consideration.
Overall, things are heading in the right direction. Certain things may have stumbled, motivation may have taken a beaten and my resolutions for the year have stagnated to a certain degree. But I am still here. I will take stock. And I will march forward
End of Month Stats
Total Hands: 30,231
Net Won USD: +$120
StarCoin Purchase: $45 for 4,500 StarCoins
Biggest Winner: $13.98 with 99 on a 9263J board
Biggest Loser: $16.70 with AKo getting it all in preflop (one of the last hands of the month and against a total fish…very frustrating!)